A Wedding of stupidty
by Ranger24
Summary: Ash and Ami are getting married and CHibi reluctantly agrees to g o draging Ranger and the rest into a wedding no one espaccily not the bride and groom will ever forget. Total crack.
1. Chapter 1

**Ranger24: This short is based on an episode of the online machinama series Arby 'n' the Chief, by digital fear. If you do not approve of the amount of ass getting kicked in this story, or you're a slave to every noncannon pairing that someone spitts out of their mouth then to bad. This a joint work of all the author's mentioned, except Darth Ben Valor who has no testicals.**

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A wedding of stupidty.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Somewhere in the middle of a city park was a soccer field and several people were playing a game, well most were playing, three weren't even trying. In fact two of them were standing still. One of the three who were not even playing was Chibi who looked almost so bored that she might drop to the ground and die.

"Can we play something else?" She asked the person nearest to her, who unfortunatly was Darth Ben Valor. He frowned turning to her.

"What, you don't like soccer?" He asked.

"No, but this game is just boring as hell. Heck their just running back and forth and not even shooting at the goals. I'm about to slip into a damn coma." She said in a very annoyed tone.

"Oh well what about you're friends there?" He asked.

"You mean Ranger and David?" She said turning to face her compainions. Ranger was sleeping standing up while David wasn't far behind.

"Yeah they're about as enthralled as I am." She replied.

"Maybe they're just tried?" Darth Ben suggested.

"Well Ranger does do a lot of killing." Chibi said scratching her chin.

"I'm sure it's not that…" He started but Chibi cut him off. "He kills fangirls, darksides, monsters, orcs…"

Twenty-five minutes later…

"Terrorists, insane enviromentalists, and the cast of highschool musical." Chibi finished.

By this time David was also sleeping out of boredum and Darth Ben was just confused.

"Well we might play some laser tag after this." He said trying to get the conversation back on familiar ground.

"It's okay, I guess one way soccer isn't for us." Chibi replied.

That was totally true as the game ended forty-five to nothing. At that moment Ranger roused himself from sleep and shook David awake as well.

"Huh? What?" David said blinking his eyes.

"OH COME ON WE'RE STILL PLAYING THIS SHITTY GAME!" Ranger shouted!

At that moment two people ran up. For some reason they were sweating, even though they had been on defense and hadn't done crap. One gave a whistle of exhaustion.

"Man what a game!" The boy said.

"Yeah it was," the girl added.

"Nothing like total domination to get the blood flowing." The boy said.

"Oh hey, Chibi this is Ash and Ami." Darth Ben said.

"Why are you guys sweating?" She asked trying not to sound rude.

"We we're playing a high energy sport." Ami replied.

"But you didn't do anything." Chibi countered.

Ranger and David walked over to them both still a little drowsy.

"Can we go now?" Ranger asked.

Darth Ben Valor frowned. "Well, what are you guys doing this Saturday."

"I don't know." Chibi said with a shrug.

"Well you see Ash and Ami are having a wedding this Saturday, and we're looking for people to come." Darth Ben said hopefully.

"Yeah Ash gave me a ring he made out of a guitar pick and gave it to me during a concert." Ami Said excitedly. Ranger's eyes were widening in horror as the couple went on jabbering.

"So do you want to come?" Darth Ben said during the couples breif pause in their jabber. Ranger and David pulled Chibi aside. They both looked her right in the face.

"No."

Chibi turned around.

"We'd be happy to come." She said trying to ignore Ranger and David's protests.

"Great we'll see you Saturday." Darth Ben said happily. Chibi nodded as Ranger and David started heading away from the field.

"Right you guys go easy oh the athletics you hear." She said before running after her still brooding friends.

That night Ranger, Chibi, David, Seth Neham aka Stephen, Asia, Alter, and Elemental Hero blade edge aka Montana, along with their respective OC's, except Asia's and Ranger's were all at Ranger's shop Fanfiction May Cry. Ranger sat with his legs propped up on his desk. He and David were still glaring at Chibi.

"What the hell was that about?" Ranger shouted finally letting out his frustration.

"Look, what was I supposed to say?" Chibi countered.

"You should of told them to screw off! I hate going to wedding's, the only one I enjoyed was Aang and Katarra's. Only because there was a decent fight after words, I fell asleep during most of the actual wedding." Ranger said rising to his feet.

"Well they were nice people." Chibi retorted.

"They were frakking retards! I'm not going to their stupid wedding!" Ranger said turning around.

Chibi groaned.

"Oh come on guys. You have to come with me. It'll be awkward as shit if I go alone." She said. Asia sighed.

"I'll go." She said resigning herself to what might be the dullest thing in the universe.

"I'll go." Stephen said standing up.

David sighed. "Well if they're both going I'll go." David's OC's groaned.

"Same here." Alter Shead said.

"I'll only go if everyone else does." Montana said.

"I say again I'm not going." Ranger said heading for the stair case in the back, seeing as how he lived up stairs of his shop.

"Ranger wait!" Chibi said. Ranger stood still on the steps.

"It won't be the same without you. We're rarely all together in a group." Chibi said trying to convince Ranger to change his mind.

Ranger was silent for about forty seconds. Then he turned to face Chibi.

"Twenty bucks."

"Ten." Chibi countered.

"Fifthteen."

Chibi considered it for a moment.

"Deal." She said pulling out her wallet and tossing Ranger three fives. Ranger grinned.

"Awesome."

Chibi nodded.

"Now how about you order us some Pizza?" She said.

"But it's your turn," Ranger objected.

"Yeah well you've got the money." Chibi said brightly. Ranger growled in frustration.

SOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOSSOS

That Saturday everyone showed up out side a church in town. It wasn't that hard to find the right one. Some one had put up big banners and other such junk everywhere. Of course three of David's

Oc's had called in sick so they were three short of what they might have been. Ranger was looking the most cross of all of them. But currently everyone was just staring at how much crap had been put on the church.

"Wow." Chibi said having an anime sweat drop.

"That's totally gay." Ranger said staring at the sheer amount of pink on the church.

"Ahmen to that brother." Mature, one of David's Oc's said.

Chibi stepped on their feet making them both yelp in pain.

"Remember, best behavior."

"Yeah sure." Ranger said wincing.

At that moment Darth Ben Valor ran up to them.

"Oh great you guys made it! Come on in the ceramony is about to start."

"Whatever you say fag." Ranger muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing." Chibi said cutting in quickly glaring at the twilight warrior.

"Let's go guys."

When they were inside they all formed up on the left side of the church, which was mostly empty. One of the few people inside the church happened to be Bowser who glared at them.

"Hey." He hissed catching their attention. "This a sacred Ceramony, you have to sit down."

"Go blow yourself." Ranger shot back.

"Sit down damnit!" Bowser hissed much louder this time. Ranger glanced over his shoulder to see everyone else was sitting down although they looked rather annoyed. Ranger sighed.

"Frak, whatever." Ranger muttered sitting down looking rather cross.

"You know I kinda have to agree with you Ranger." Chibi muttered. "I'm all for interesting misilancous pairings, but this is kind of ridiculous."

"Shush!" Bowser hissed.

"No you." Ranger shot back.

At that moment Darth Ben Valor and Ash walked up to the alter.

"Oh here we go." David groaned.

"Shut up!" Bowser hissed at them.

"Look, either you shut your pie hole or I'll have express mail some bullets or arrow's to your face." Ranger shot back pulling out his pistols. Bowser gulped and looked as though he nearly shat his pants. Chibi stepped on Ranger's foot and he put away his hand guns.

Darth Ben and Ash walked right up to the alter. Then Darth Ben Valor turned around to face the whole group.

"The bride will now approach the alter while a Zutara shipper plays the apropriate music on the organ." Darth Ben announced.

Ranger's eye twitched.

"Must kill…" Chibi stepped on his foot before he could finish.

"What?" He whispered. "I'm supposed to kill every fangirl I meet. Crazed shippers included."

"Yeah but now isn't the time." Chibi whispered back. The Zutara fangirl started playing the baseball theme.

"Umm… No try the next page." Darth Ben shouted to the shipper who nodded. She then started playing the original digimon theme.

"No try again." Darth Ben shouted again. This time the shipper nodded and forty five others poped up with a vareity of instruments. Then for some reason they started playing the imperial march! Ranger was now twitching almost uncontrolably.

"No! My god! Why did I hire you idiots?" Darth Ben shouted. Finally the Shipper at the organ started playing the right song.

"The bride will now approach the alter, all rise." Darth Ben announced.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me." Chibi muttered.

"Shut up!" Bowser hissed for the umptienth time. Danny and June, who were sitting behind him nodded.

"No you." Alter shot back. Everyone rose to their feet as Ami began too make her way down the aisle.

"You have got to be jokeing." Asia muttered staring at Ami's canarey yellow dress.

"Shut it!" Danny hissed over to them.

Ami walked past them.

"Nice ass." Stephen muttered.

"Sshush!" June spat over to them.

"No you." Stephen shot back.

Ranger groaned and then glanced at the ceiling as Ami began to head up the steps to the alter. Then an idea struck him as he glanced at the large number of highly explosive lights behind the alter and he quickly whispered to David, Mature, and Montana. They grinned evilly as Ranger quickly rushed out of the church.

"Where the hells he going?" Chibi whispered to the three.

"Bathroom." All three said instantly.

"Sshush!" Bowser, Danny, and June all hissed.

"Go sit on a land mine." Alter shot at them.

Ami reached the alter and everyone sat down.

"We are gathered here in the sight of the site alert group of Fanfiction…" Darth Ben began. Meanwhile David and Montana pulled out spartan lasers.

"To unite in fanfiction matromony, Ami and Ash." Darth Ben continued. Stephen sighed and glanced up at the large stain glass mural over the church. He noticed then a shadow moving carefully along the narrow metal supports of the mural from the roof. He nudged Asia.

"Hey look." He whispered but Danny shushed him instantly.

"If any one has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace." Darth Ben finished.

"I object!" Mature shouted startling everyone!

Then suddenly the mural above was shattered as Ranger leapt down Devil May Cry 4 style! He landed on the bench in front of Bowser who blinked in surprise. Then Ranger wiped out his M6C. Bowser shat himself again.

"Mother f#cker." Ranger said before shooting Bowser in the face!

"Oh my god! He killed Bowser!" Danny shouted!

"You bastard!" June added.

"OH SHUT UP!" Ranger shouted!

Then David and Montana stood up raising their spartan lasers!

"Bye bye cockbags!" Montana shouted before he and David both fired the spartan lasers destroying all of the lights and causing a massive explosion that hurrled Darth Ben, Ami, and Ash into the orchestra section! Ash slammed his head into a wall, Darth Ben got his head stuck in a tuba, and Ami crashed into a large drum. Alter suddenly rose to his feet pulling out his grenade launcher!

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!" Alter shouted before firing it up into the orchestra! The Shippers dove out of the box but the still stuck bride, groom, and reverand were sent flying through the air! Stephen ran for the exit followed by David, Mature, and Alter.

"Guy's wait up!" Chibi shouted before she and Asia ran after the guys. Then they came to a halt at the doors.

"Wait where's Ranger?" David asked turning back. Ranger had drawn his sword as the shippers suddenly pulled out knives and tomahawks.

"For Zutara!" They shouted charging forward!

"For intelligent pairings!" Ranger shouted letting his sword slash against the ground tearing the carpet and scratching the stone! Everyone watched in a mix of horror, awe, and amazement as Ranger brutally slaughtered the shippers, but he was badly out numbered! Stephen suddenly yanked out his sword!

"He cannot stand alone! For the Father, the son, and the holy spirit!" Then he charged into the furious melee swing his sword! Then Alter Shead shot into the fight drawing heart breaker, followed by David whiping out his sheild sword. Blood was sent flying everywhere as the four of them slashed and hacked at the shippers.

Danny and June ran for the exit only for Montana's foot to trip them both up.

"Going somewhere?" He asked as Mature cracked his knuckles.

"Oh shit." They both said mere seconds before Mature and Montana began to beat the crap out of them. Chibi and Asia were having massive anime sweat drops as Ranger, David, Stephen, and Alter ran back over to them covered in shipper blood. Ranger and David dragged Mature and Montana off of Danny and June before they all ran for the exit.

As they reached the exit Ami pulled her head out of the drum and burst into tears.

"You ruined my wedding!" She shouted through sobs.

Ranger chucked an incediary grenade over his shoulder.

"Have a nice honey moon assholes!" He shouted before they all ran away from the church which now burst into flames.

An hour later everyone rushed into Fanfiction May Cry panting. Ranger gave a laugh and threw himself into his chair. Chibi and Asia were silent for about thrity seconds as the guys kept laughing.

"What the hell was that?" Chibi said, sounding half confused, half shocked.

"One kickass wedding!" David said sitting down on one of the couches.

Asia shook her head.

"I can't believe you…"

"That was some funny ass shit." Ranger said cutting her off.

Chibi and Asia seemed about to object but then they were silent for a moment.

"You know, that was kind of funny." Chibi admitted. Asia nodded in agreement. Ranger smirked.

"You want to do it again?" She asked.

"Damn right sister!" Ranger shouted before he and David pounded it.

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**Ranger24: If you were offended by this story… I don't care but don't you dare report abuse for crack… If you have to bitch, bitch in a review. Read and review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone. It has come to my attention that many people were insulted by this story.

I Apologieze if you were angerd by a my vicous attack on Ash/Ami. I also apologieze to Darth Ben Valor for victimizing him in this story.

But in all honest sense I have to say this. What did you come to for? To read people's fanfics or be pissed when someone express their dislike for a pairing.

Honestly I wrote this story as a joke based on a video on youtube which you cna find via a link on my deviant art page. I found the concept funny and if you can't honestly step back and laugh at something silly then you seriously need a fixing. Even saints used comedy to mock the unfaithful. But THis story I wrote as a joke and I am truthfully not the biggest fan of Ash and Ami. Or Disney parodies for that matter. I mean those stories have been done like twelve times each! Heck Jusonic has four little mermaid parodies, complete with sequals. There needs to be some new blood on fanfiction or well get as dull as those yaoi fangirls.

And stop blocking me for god's sake! Have none of you watched an episode off red vs blue? They insult eachother regularly and they still get along fine.

If you are still pissed leave a review if you can forgive me leave a review anyways.


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